My New Love

This topic contains 7 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  John Cockman 1 week ago.

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  • #64971
    Great Scott
    Great Scott
    Moderator

    Well, I have to confess that I have a brand new love: and she is so petite and beautiful; with a singing voice that would make every Siren shed her scales and turn pea green with envy; and then drown with despair. And looks so beautiful that even Medusa would turn to stone if she dared look at her. I am the happiest person on this planet right now and wonder how such a treasure could love a headless hunk like me. And talented?! She often leaves me speechless! She can do a full hand wash in just 30 minutes — including ringing it out by hand and hanging it on the line.(no luxury electrical items here). And she can clean the tents faster and better than Precious ever could.

    [Note:  And just where is Precious, I hear some of you ask.  She is still here … learning from example.  I told her she needs to lift her game; that I am the man of the tent and head of the expedition; and I just won’t tolerate laziness:  I wanted my meal on the table the moment I walked into the tent after a long day on safari. End of note]

    And, cook?! Man o man, can she cook. She can muster up the tastiest curry in a hurry, wash and wipe the dishes, and feed the porters all within the space of one hour. And sweep?! I have never seen anyone work faster with a broom than she can! Add to this her athleticism  and she is a virtual track and field princess with the ability to chase down a jungle bear and dispatch it within seconds; or swing through the treetops hand-over-hand to grapple with the largest tree-dwelling python.

    She sings like a Nightingale, and plays the Oriental flute with such emotion that the tears stream down my otherwise would-be face. She likes me to call her ‘Rittle Rotus Brossom’ because she IS my little Oriental beauty. When I call her “My Little Lotus Blossom”, she becomes upset and thumps her tiny fists against my chest crying, “It’s Rittle Rotus Brossom!” So, I guess that’s how I will have to refer to her in subsequent posts.  So, ‘My Rittle Rotus Brossom” it is then:  the ruv of my rife… I mean the luv of my life. Sheesh! She’s gonna have me sounding like Astro from ‘The Jetsons”! I’m just wondering if I will end up talking like him for the rest of my rife, I mean, life: Hmmm?

    And just how did My Rittle Rotus Brossom come into my life?  I put an ad in the ‘Jungle Times’ that said “Tentkeeper wanted for headless expeditioner .  Good pay and conditions.

    #65025

    John Cockman
    Keymaster

    Congrats of finding a new tentkeeper, hopefully you’ll do a better job watching out for her than you did for your poor translator Precious! Wishing you many great exploits and discoveries on your latest expedition.

    #65027
    cricket
    cricket
    Participant

    I was thinking he got a robot…lol.

     

    #65033
    Great Scott
    Great Scott
    Moderator

    Thank you, John!  Yeah, I’m certainly watching out for THIS one; and keeping an eye on her every move (I can see ’round corners, you know).  A woman like this is a rare find — a rare find, indeed.  However, despite her beauty and talents, one mishap and she’s OUT!… beauty or no beauty — though I would miss those delicious curries.

    Cricket, not a robot; just a woman who knows her place in the home and does what every good woman should, i.e; cook, clean, wash, hunt for food and prepare it, make a fire, feed the troupe, wash the dishes,  has no opinion, sweep the chimneys and clean all the windows (inside and out) when we get back home, be there when I call, get my pipe and slippers, worship the ground I walk on and make me feel like lord of my manor, and most importantly: doesn’t answer back.  Oops!  Have to go now and unchain her from the kitchen sink, and move her over to the laundry for the rest of her duties.   🙂

    #65051
    cricket
    cricket
    Participant

    Oh gosh…I’m keeping Mike away from you!

    #65055
    Great Scott
    Great Scott
    Moderator

    LMAO! (Lovin’ My Angora Overcoat!)

    Why keep him away, Cricket?  He needs to know that every man needs a good slave woman in his life.  🙂

    #65065
    cricket
    cricket
    Participant

    Well he’s happy ignorant right now, Scott…so I intend to keep him that way!

    #65105

    John Cockman
    Keymaster

    Geez GS are you trying to get Google to shadow-ban my site? This is the 21st century, you can’t talk like that!

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