September 10, 2018 at 7:39 PM #64971
Well, I have to confess that I have a brand new love: and she is so petite and beautiful; with a singing voice that would make every Siren shed her scales and turn pea green with envy; and then drown with despair. And looks so beautiful that even Medusa would turn to stone if she dared look at her. I am the happiest person on this planet right now and wonder how such a treasure could love a headless hunk like me. And talented?! She often leaves me speechless! She can do a full hand wash in just 30 minutes — including ringing it out by hand and hanging it on the line.(no luxury electrical items here). And she can clean the tents faster and better than Precious ever could.
[Note: And just where is Precious, I hear some of you ask. She is still here … learning from example. I told her she needs to lift her game; that I am the man of the tent and head of the expedition; and I just won’t tolerate laziness: I wanted my meal on the table the moment I walked into the tent after a long day on safari. End of note]
And, cook?! Man o man, can she cook. She can muster up the tastiest curry in a hurry, wash and wipe the dishes, and feed the porters all within the space of one hour. And sweep?! I have never seen anyone work faster with a broom than she can! Add to this her athleticism and she is a virtual track and field princess with the ability to chase down a jungle bear and dispatch it within seconds; or swing through the treetops hand-over-hand to grapple with the largest tree-dwelling python.
She sings like a Nightingale, and plays the Oriental flute with such emotion that the tears stream down my otherwise would-be face. She likes me to call her ‘Rittle Rotus Brossom’ because she IS my little Oriental beauty. When I call her “My Little Lotus Blossom”, she becomes upset and thumps her tiny fists against my chest crying, “It’s Rittle Rotus Brossom!” So, I guess that’s how I will have to refer to her in subsequent posts. So, ‘My Rittle Rotus Brossom” it is then: the ruv of my rife… I mean the luv of my life. Sheesh! She’s gonna have me sounding like Astro from ‘The Jetsons”! I’m just wondering if I will end up talking like him for the rest of my rife, I mean, life: Hmmm?
And just how did My Rittle Rotus Brossom come into my life? I put an ad in the ‘Jungle Times’ that said “Tentkeeper wanted for headless expeditioner . Good pay and conditions.September 12, 2018 at 2:07 PM #65025
Congrats of finding a new tentkeeper, hopefully you’ll do a better job watching out for her than you did for your poor translator Precious! Wishing you many great exploits and discoveries on your latest expedition.September 12, 2018 at 3:42 PM #65027
I was thinking he got a robot…lol.September 12, 2018 at 6:46 PM #65033
Thank you, John! Yeah, I’m certainly watching out for THIS one; and keeping an eye on her every move (I can see ’round corners, you know). A woman like this is a rare find — a rare find, indeed. However, despite her beauty and talents, one mishap and she’s OUT!… beauty or no beauty — though I would miss those delicious curries.
Cricket, not a robot; just a woman who knows her place in the home and does what every good woman should, i.e; cook, clean, wash, hunt for food and prepare it, make a fire, feed the troupe, wash the dishes, has no opinion, sweep the chimneys and clean all the windows (inside and out) when we get back home, be there when I call, get my pipe and slippers, worship the ground I walk on and make me feel like lord of my manor, and most importantly: doesn’t answer back. Oops! Have to go now and unchain her from the kitchen sink, and move her over to the laundry for the rest of her duties. 🙂September 12, 2018 at 8:17 PM #65051
Oh gosh…I’m keeping Mike away from you!September 12, 2018 at 8:34 PM #65055
LMAO! (Lovin’ My Angora Overcoat!)
Why keep him away, Cricket? He needs to know that every man needs a good
slavewoman in his life. 🙂September 13, 2018 at 7:21 AM #65065
Well he’s happy ignorant right now, Scott…so I intend to keep him that way!September 15, 2018 at 12:46 AM #65105
Geez GS are you trying to get Google to shadow-ban my site? This is the 21st century, you can’t talk like that!
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